Can you be a leader without being an a#%@ hole?
As an empathic human, dedicated to shared power, justice, freedom and an honouring of all life, it can feel really uncomfortable to call yourself a leader.
It can feel really uncomfortable even if a part of you secretly wishes you didn't have an issue with it and could really shine in your influence, creativity, possibility and power (because that's what the spark inside wants for you).
The discomfort does make sense. Its valid and shows you how much you want to create real change and not contribute to repeating the same old dysfunctional systems and patterns.
It's valid... AND... it's an invitation to rewrite your definitions of leadership.
So I ask you now-
What is your definition of a leader?
Journal on it.
Now look over your definition and pull out the parts that you never want to be like.
'Leaders can be ...
arrogant, with delusions of grandeur, with a superiority complex, control freaks, egotistical, dishonest, corrupted by power, fake, dangerous, destructive, controlled by the system, mean, nasty, violent, bullies, gaslighting, selfish, unable to listen and learn from others, unwilling to co-operate, disconnected from reality, self obsessed, thinking they are messengers from God'
Before we step into any transformation, the next step is to get really real with yourself and the nature of humanity. These traits are within us all. Parts of you can be all those things, and the more taboo you make them, the more hidden in your blindspots they become.
What if you accepted that you have the potential to be all of those things? And what if that acceptance is a huge part of why you won't get lost in being those things?
Think about that.
What if the your strength as a leader involves your authenticity and your willingness to own your shadows?
And now to the transformation.
Can you take those traits and look at them creatively?
Can you see them from other angles?
If their volume was dialled down, what are some healthy expressions of them?
'Leaders can also ...
Take a stand without believing they're superior or need to shame others. Shine their light, their power and their truth in ways that includes and connects others. Be truly influential, seen and heard while fully grounded in their imperfect humanness. Speak truth to power while taking full responsibility for what is theirs to be responsible for. Be kind, inclusive, creative, authentic, vulnerable and deeply honest. Build bridges where bridges weren't before. Get amazing things done with care and consciousness. Bring forth new ideas, new possibilities and new connections. Be their own unique self, unlike any other leader in the world, while being so very in touch with the connections that make them who they are'.
Now I want to hear your WHY.
Why do you want to be a leader?
Why are you willing to get comfortable with claiming the title of leader, even though your discomfort is very present?
What is so important to you, that has you show up, follow your heart's whispers and step into leadership?
With this awareness...
If you could now rewrite your definition of YOUR unique version of leadership, what would it be?
And how do you stand when you embody that definition?
I would love to hear your definition, share it with me if you're willing. You can email me ([email protected]) or Facebook message me (https://www.facebook.com/kayajongen) anytime, I want these conversations to be true, connecting conversations.
Here's to you embodying your beautiful, soulful and wonderfully unique form of leadership
Love Kaya
xoxo
* Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash *
